NOTDAN.ORG :: Privacy Policy

Visits: 19

Who we are

WE don't exist. Unless WE are counting all of THEM in MY HEAD, which is technically OURS. Anyways, to put it simply: We, as in I, and I am not dan. Now that WE have cleared that up, let US move forward.

Comments

When visitors leave comments on the site we collect the data shown in the comments form, and also the visitor’s IP address and browser user agent string to help spam detection.
An anonymized string created from your email address (also called a hash) may be provided to the Gravatar service to see if you are using it. The Gravatar service privacy policy is available here: https://automattic.com/privacy/. After approval of your comment, your profile picture is visible to the public in the context of your comment. I'm prrrretty sure I turned off the Gravatar bullshit, but it may be enabled from time to time - so if you really want to be sure, just block their domains lmao.

Media

If you upload images to the website, you grant notdan.org, Sketchy Dog LLC, notdan, and all of notdan's companies, websites and other properties (both internet and 'real-world') a non-exclusive, transferable, sub-licensable, royalty-free, worldwide license to use any IP content that you post on or in connection with notdan.org or otherwise (“IP License”). This IP License ends when you delete your IP content or your account, unless your content has already been shared with others (including notdan, any of the above mentioned companies owned by "notdan" or affiliated Real-World, or online properties) and they have not deleted it. You should avoid uploading images with embedded location data (EXIF GPS) included, but notdan.org will be deploying an EXIF scrubber to automatically remove this data for you at a later date. Regardless of whether this technology exists, however, it is not guaranteed to protect your privacy and notdan.org nor any affiliated companies or individuals take responsibility for your fuck up of leaving GPS data in your EXIF. If you leave the data in the pictures, any asshole can come along and download and extract any location data from images on the website. So again:
TL;DR: If you want your GPS data removed from your pictures and want to be sure it's gone, do it yourself before uploading it to notdan.org. <3

Cookies

The short version: We fucking use cookies like every other site on the internet. Deal with it. If you have a problem with us using cookies to track session data, then don't browse or login to notdan.org or affiliated sites. Or use the internet at all, because almost every site that exists uses cookies. Again: WE USE EM.
Some detail about our cookies: If you leave a comment on our site you may opt-in to saving your name, email address and website in cookies. These are for your convenience so that you do not have to fill in your details again when you leave another comment. These cookies will typically last for one year, or less if you delete them manually yourself. Or even less if you take a hammer to your computer right after reading this.
If you visit our login page, we will set a temporary cookie to determine if your browser accepts cookies. This cookie contains no personal data and is discarded when you close your browser. Unless it's one of the random cookies we occasionally deploy that never deletes, we have a few of those from time to time and you should feel special if you get one. It's like winning the lottery, except you don't get anything and neither do we. It's like a really, really fucking boring lottery. But, still a lottery.
When you log in, we will also set up several cookies to save your login information and your screen display choices. Login cookies usually last for two days, and screen options cookies usually last for a year. If you select "Remember Me", your login will persist for approximately two weeks. 
If you edit or publish an article, an additional cookie will be saved in your browser. This cookie includes no personal data and simply indicates the post ID of the article you just edited. It usually expires after 1 day. 

If you log out of your account, the login cookies will be removed, unless your browser is fucked up or you are using a VM and roll it back or some other crazy shit that geeks are known to do. So basically, you really should just assume that there's cookies from notdan.org all over your fucking browser cache and they never get removed until the heat death of the universe, that way you can be excited and happy when they function properly and expire on the correct timeframes!

Embedded content from other websites

Articles on this site may include embedded content (e.g. videos, images, articles, etc.). Embedded content from other websites behaves in the exact same way as if the visitor (this means YOU) has visited the embedded website directly. 
These websites may collect data about you, use cookies, embed additional third-party tracking, and monitor your interaction with that embedded content, including tracking your interaction with the embedded content if you have an account and are logged in to that website. Again, just assume there's like 12 Terabytes of cookies in your browser cache and then you'll be happy to discover there's only 156,230 of them instead!

Who we share your data with

I can share your data with literally whoever the fuck I want to, and YOU AGREE TO IT BY CONTINUING TO VIEW THE SITE! Buuut, I'm also not a massive jackass, and doxing people is shitty, so I likely will just delete it on a cron job that rotates every 30 days. Why 30 days? Because if the site gets owned I want a chance of doing forensics to grab ur sick 0day duuuuuude. Duh. Oh and because this is shitty WordPress, apparently the password reset email contains the IP address you used to generate the request. Use a Tor node or a lulzy VPN with a funny PTR if you want, I don't give a shit. Eventually the goal is to not log at all, but we/I am not quite there yet. 

How long we retain your data

Dude. Just assume forever. Anyone that writes these privacy policies is literally either just copying and pasting them from a template, and lying usually. This is probably the most honest privacy policy you're gonna come across. 
Realistically, most data should roll off within 30 days except for that one cookie session mentioned above that lasts for a year. Expect the worst, use Tor to surf the site if you want, and then you don't have to get all weird and afraid of shadows. I'm not a bad dude looking to fuck you over, I'm just a dog that knows how to type. Also, I'm a cartoon.
Remember how I said most of these are copypasta? Here's some delicious bullshit that comes with WordPress: "If you leave a comment, the comment and its metadata are retained indefinitely. This is so we can recognize and approve any follow-up comments automatically instead of holding them in a moderation queue.
For users that register on our website (if any), we also store the personal information they provide in their user profile. All users can see, edit, or delete their personal information at any time (except they cannot change their username). Website administrators can also see and edit that information."

Was it delicious? I bet it was delicious.

What rights you have over your data

What the canned legal response says:
If you have an account on this site, or have left comments, you can request to receive an exported file of the personal data we hold about you, including any data you have provided to us. You can also request that we erase any personal data we hold about you. This does not include any data we are obliged to keep for administrative, legal, or security purposes.

What the reality is:
Literally none. If you surf this site and expect me to give you "data rights" you are surfing the wrong website. I don't have time to grep for your dumbass sock puppet usernames and send you a zip file or anything like that, so enjoy sending a request that's just going to be ignored, lmao. This isn't fucking Facebook. This is a single pane of glass website, built on a bulletproof hosting company, and I really don't care if you feel like being an asshole today and requesting that I archive your data and send it or whatever. Because here's the bottom line: ALL data on this server is for Administrative, Legal, and Security purposes. The end. See how easy it is to stop harassing requests like that?

The subject matter currently on notdan.org, about my legal predicament, is NOT a joke and it's not something that I want consuming my life. It's hard enough getting through every day without assholes fucking with me over $insert_obscure_legal_thing_here.

I seriously don't want you to continue browsing the site for another second if you want me to agree to do anything for your fucking data, in any way, including providing copies of it or whatever the fuck. As if anyone cares about it in the first place. I don't collect ANY PII from you. I don't expect you to give me any data or anything about yourself, even your name. If you register an account to leave comments, great - but that's on you. If you want an account deleted, I will likely delete it for you, as long as you own it, but that's about as much as I'm going to commit to - and even that is not something I can guarentee I can do immediately. There are no SLAs here.

If you would be awesome enough to help out with my legal predicament by donating money or currency via one of the platforms that DOES have a robust and legally friendly Privacy Policy, I would be forever grateful - just don't expect those kinds of things on a silly landing site like notdan.org. That's not too much to ask, is it?

If I do eventually get the BTCPay server setup, or fully implement Stripe directly on the site, then this Privacy Policy will likely change very drastically and become a boring, but required legal document. But for now, it's a legal document (barely) that commits to barely anything and that's the way I (and hopefully you) like it. Enjoy the occasional jokes, and send some love (letters or money or whatever) if you can.

I love you guys, please hit me up on twitter.com/notdan if you found this to be slightly entertaining to read. ;)

Peace --@notdan

Where your data is sent

Visitor comments may be checked through an automated spam detection service. They may also be sent to ur mom.

Comments

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